i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
