Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
