Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize