Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize