I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
