Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
