I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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