me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
