Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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