talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
