No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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