he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
