You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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