We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
