My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
