i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
