Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
