Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
