U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
