I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
