i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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