took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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