Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
