cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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