yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
