i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
