Me. At least after what I've been through.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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