she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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