capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she smelled like a LAN party
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
