So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
