That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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