he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
