Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
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I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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