And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
