you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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