Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
