i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
