So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
