Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
