Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
