Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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