How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
