Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
