I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
