i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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