How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
