u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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