Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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