I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
