I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
