If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
