I faked an abortion last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
