Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
