Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
