thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
